Just being.

Today, I trust that just “being” is enough. Rather than making myself crazy and tired by trying to figure out the answer, or see the picture, or work out how it will work out. I choose, instead, to focus my energy on staying present, enjoying each moment as it presents itself. I open my eyes to life, as it is, right now. I know the gift of clarity will come when the time is right.

– Unknown

During that time between Christmas and New Year when no one knows what day of the week it is, I was mindlessly scrolling through social media and came across this quote that it really resonated with me and I felt compelled to share, in case it resonates with you.

I have realised recently that I put a great deal of pressure on myself to do it all – keep up with the chores, make sure there is food on the table and the animals are fed, maintain a social life, keep up with exercise, continue to work my off-farm job, sing in a choir, play my double bass, be part of my community. And not just do it all, but do it well and all at once because dropping the ball means failure and mediocre is not okay. And from my experience, this is a common trait that many women have – the “permanently exhausted pigeon” comes to mind.

I have always put this kind of pressure on myself, but I feel like it has become insurmountable since I came into our farming business. Not only was I now trying to do everything that I used to do, but I was adding in the responsibility of running a business. I also feel like the busy periods on the farm (Ha! They are always busy times, but ya’ll know which ones I am referring to) mean that I feel the pressure 100 times more and results in becoming completely and utterly shattered, leaving no room for the fun things.

So when I came across this quote – after the week leading up to Christmas where we had a fire on the neighbours place and a trip to hospital for hubby amongst trying to harvest – my busy-ness and exhaustion hit me like a tonne of bricks. Upon reflection, I realised that just “being” is enough. In fact, it is more than enough. Taking a breath and focus on the here and now is so important, because this moment won’t be here again. Worrying about the next task takes away your ability to give yourself to the task at hand. Realising that most of the jobs that I need to do, do not all need to be done right now because there will be tomorrow. The sky will not fall if I don’t vacuum the floors today, and the world won’t explode if I finalise the BAS next week.

I am not saying abandon all responsibility (holy cow my anxiety sky rockets just at the thought of walking away!), but I have begun to realise that there is literally no point in exhausting myself because I am taking away from my energy to do the things that I want to do and my ability to be present for the other people in my life. When I stress myself out, trying to do it all, I turn into this grumpy monster who does nothing but grump around, mutter under my breath and carry on like a pork chop. I am also realising that by being present and not trying to do everything so quickly will actually result in a better quality outcome.

So taking smaller steps and breaking down the jobs into bite size chunks and only doing what is absolutely necessary for the day – including doing something that sets your soul on fire – is something I am prioritising for myself this from now on.

As we come into what is shaping up to be a hectic 2022, I think we can all learn a lesson or two from slowing down and realising that just being is more than enough.